What the hell is this blog about?

Well this one in particular is about why I'm suddenly deciding to plunge into the whole blogging thing so if that's all the info you were after I am glad to have been of service and please come again.

For those interested in why I've suddenly leapt into the blogsphere I am sorry to inform you that the chances are that this'll be a longwinded affair so if you have no stomach for it flee now and be with your loved ones before the end eventually turns up and you cease to be (it might be a while so I won't begrudge you not spending all your time between now and then with your loved ones it'd be unfair on them to have to put up with you for so long really).

Anyway to get to the point of this damned posting. I'm a drifter, always have been, always will be unless by some miracle I get my act together and stop. Recently I stopped drifting forwards and had a period of months stagnating which isn't the best thing for a drifter as while I've drifted through various levels of education and much of my youth without hassle and to a degree succeeding beyond any expectations that I should have I'm coming up 20 and am in the second year of uni and should be upping my game not resting on my laurels and hoping for the best.

I screwed up the end of last year pretty much, (and no word gets to folks such as Parents about this those who know of my parents and can contact them). There have been the odd good point, and I'm sure the person that embodies the major good point in my life knows who she is and doesn't need it pointing out on the internet in this blog which is doing more for me and relieving my tortured soul than it is for you the reader (you can still turn back now if you want, it's not too late).

Thus new year new start gonna try and get through it, find a direction to drift in make the plunge and start interacting with the world again after keeping it at arms length for too long. This is what this blog is gonna help me do. I have no grand scheme really there are still a few scattered remains of dreams left that I might want to push for and this will also be helped by the blog. This post is boring and dry and hints at my emotional state because I need to put stuff onto (virtual) paper, and as this is gonna be linked to places where friends can see it I might as well give people a heads up. There will undoubtedly be more of this venting on the blog in the period of time that follows this being published, I dunno how much it'll be a help but at least I'm not keeping it to myself for fear of burdening those I care about with my trivial problems. People can read it or not, react to it or not, its their choice its out of my hands.

In a similar vein I long to be a writer of some sort, I have an amount of pride in not being slow witted, being slightly humorous (at least I find what I say funny from time to time) and having the odd idea that is cool and creative and fancy. I rarely produce anything for a lack of knowing what tone to go for, what idea to proceed with or for the fact I don't think what I'm producing is worth bothering people with. Thus much of what I write is left unfinished, deleted and never sees the light of day. You'll be getting that crap here, hopefully complete and edited as while I'm not going to bother people with anything people here will have had to actively come here to read my posts so my guilt is dealt with.

Thus I ask you humble readers to provide me with assistance. Comment, let me know you've read and care. Taunt me, insult me, hurl abuse, adversity is good. Be overly critical, argue with me and any points I make when I decide to use this as a soapbox for my views on the world and current affairs. I need some sort, any sort of feedback to convince me to keep going as I'm a lazy sod, and most feedback will be beneficial for improving my writing, working out what to do or just knowing I'm not alone in my struggles with myself, the world and the need to do more than exist whilst I live.

So basically, its something productive to do whilst also being a kinda subtle cry for attention and help. Yes I know I could've done that summary thing at the start and saved ya reading the tripe but I wanted some people to read the tripe as the whole self sufficient thing ain't a massive success as of yet which kinda hints at maybe I could do with people knowing and thus being there for when I may need support to get up and running at full capacity (which as of yet in my life I have never done).

Schaf